Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
