this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
