You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
