You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
