she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
