is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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