Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
