Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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