U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
