so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
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