We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
