So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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