I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
