Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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