I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
