i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
