I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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