There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
