Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
