I swear she didn't look like that last week.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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