well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
