I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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