I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
