I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
