I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
