I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Fuck appropriateness.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
