there was a trapeze. enough said
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
