We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He shit in the fireplace
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
