He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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