I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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