her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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