Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
