Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
we're making bets on your personal life
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
COCAINE IS GR8
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
