Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Your cock deserves a montage
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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