Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
