He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
