He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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