the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
