margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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