he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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