My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
