it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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