Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
