Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
