one two three fourrrrnication!
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
