My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
