Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
