Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
