dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
