We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
