He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
